Unsuitably Qualified

Hiring. It's nearly as bad as firing. You know you want an eagle, but you have to interview too many turkeys to find one.

The unsuitable qualifications in some applicants absolutely amazes me. I mean, I know getting the "right job" is hard, but if we're advertising for a "Receptionist/Marketing Assistant", why on earth would you send a resume highlighting your love for and experience in interior decorating?

Or why would you send a resume with a covering letter that says "I look forward to discussing the position of Warehouse Manager with you soon"? Um... Ok... We can talk about our Warehouse Manager but I quite like him and don't plan on replacing him anytime soon. I'd much rather talk about the RECEPTIONIST / MARKETING ASSISTANT you dumb ass.

Then there's the interview process itself. Here's a tip... LOOK IN THE MIRROR before you leave the house. Dress like you mean it. Don't turn up to the interview looking like you're on the way home from a rave, and while I think of it, don't bring your friends... they just clutter up our reception.

I know it's tough out there, especially when you're just starting out. I know you didn't know that a Diploma in Marketing is about as useful as a fork lift certificate when you're looking for the right break but people, please, think about what we want before you send your resume.

And let me ask you this... What's the main job of a "Receptionist"?

Anyone?

Come on people. This is not a difficult question... the main job of a "Receptionist" is to answer the telephone, and meet and greet people as they arrive at your office.

Yes? Agreed? Ok.

So can anyone explain to me why I got an application from a mute? Seriously. "Selective Childhood Mutism Disorder", which means she only talks to some people and not others, can't answer the phone, and won't talk to strangers.

"I have this keyboard thingmy where I type in what I want to say, and the machine kind of says it for me."

Oh yes. That's going to work. Think about it. You call my company and the phone is answered by sound effects of someone typing, followed by a monotone computer voice.

Now I'm not a totally callous bastard. I really feel for this girl. Whatever happened to her in her childhood that's caused this must have been awful. Her resume put her #1 on our short-list and in every other respect she was a great candidate...
...but the job was for a fecken "Receptionist".

Ah well. Anyone out there looking for a job?