Friday, November 28, 2008

Vegas and Other Stuff

You know your lucks out in Vegas when you pass a slot machine which is loudly named "Luck Changer... Change Your Luck Here"... and it's out of order.

TV
We watched a little TV in the Excited States. It seems there are more commercials for drugs now than there were. Actually, I think they were all commercials for drugs, and they went something like this...
Announcer:
Suffer from [insert disease here]?
Ask your doctor about [insert drug name here].

Another Announcer (at double speed):
[Insert drug name here] may cause blindness, deafness, impotence, increased appetite, reduced appetite, headaches, nausea, vomiting, difficulty breathing, rash, stupidity, gout, diabetes, pancreatitis, kidney failure, liver failure, depression, bowel cancer, infertility, hayfever, palpitations, heart failure, club foot, hair loss, hair growth, sleeplessness, drowsiness, anaphalaxis, leprocy or death. If you experience any of these symptoms, please see your doctor.

The first announcer takes about 5 seconds. The second, 25.

And I want to take [insert drug name here] because...?

Toys
I did catch an absolutely appalling ad for a new Fischer Price toy in between drug ads.
It featured a hispanic looking child creating a toy burger at his own toy burger restaurant. They even had a counter with cash register and toy money, and a microphone into which the child, after careful preparation, shouted "number 34, your order's up".

I'd hate to think the good folk at Fisher Price were pitching this toy as future vocational education.

If I can find it on You Tube, I'll post it.

The Grand Canyon Skywalk
Bloody awesome. You stand on a glass platform out over the edge of the Canyon. The only bummer is that they don't let you take your camera out there.

Directions
Regular readers will know I love America and Americans. I've spent a lot of time there and find the whole experience akin to slipping on a favourite sweat shirt. That's code for saying "critical comment coming, but I hope it's in some way constructive".

What is it with Americans and directions... or... more to the point... a lack of maps. We drove a fair bit... from Vegas to the Hoover Dam, and then from the dam to the Canyon Skywalk. No-one had maps. All they had were little cards with directions, which were either incorrect, or omitted key information that would get me to where I was supposed to be going.

"Take the 95 south." Oh... Ok... Which way is South? (And before you say "The signs of the freeways all say which way is south, I'll correct you... no they bloody don't.

Just give me a fecken map. I can read maps. Apparently, the average American can't. It's a shame really.

Red Rock Canyon
We have a couple of hourse to kill at the end of our conference, so we drove the 10 miles or so to the Red Rock Canyon. It was sort of like looking at a miniature Ayers Rock. Probably worth it if you're sick of faux Roman buildings, fountains and the tinkle of slot machines next time you're in Vegas.

Just head west on the 215, and then west on Charleston. You can't miss it.

Blue Angels
Possible the coolest thing I saw in eight days in the US were the Blue Angels (is that what those stunt planes are called?).

There was a big airshow at Nellis Air Force Base, just out of Las Vegas, and these guys were practicing formation flying... right over me... so close that I think one of the pilots had a scar on his left cheek.

It was bloody awesome. F16s flying very fast, very low, and just a few metres from wingtip to wingtip. And there were other planes too. I think one might have been the new Raptor because it kept disappearing... rally... it'd fly overhead, go straight up, and then... poof... it was gone, only to be seen again coming from somewhere it wasn't just a second ago.

6 comments:

pitfinder said...

(Sigh) When I was a kid, every gas station had maps and they gave them to you free because their name was all over them so you'd take it along on your trip and advertise for them for free. Not any more. Now if you can find a place with a map, it'll cost you (and it will still have their name on it).

Greed has just about taken over in the land of the free. Witness the current financial situation.

(sigh again)

Ms Brown Mouse said...

But which way is west?

Identity Crisis said...

You were there again...almost at the same time as me...weird.

e said...

I think it's because everyone has GPS nowadays.

Chester The Bear said...

Mouse... you know... west... it's on the sign...

Oh... no it isn't.

And e... everyone? Or maybe that's everyone except for the touristas in rental cars (who are too cheap to pay the $19.90 a day for gps, but who nevertheless maintain the life of tourism oriented economies like Las Vegas and South West Arizona).

Just give me a fecken map... and a few decent road signs might help along the way too.

e said...

Hey I'm with you on the map thing. I just recently tried out a gps doodah and hated it.

And by the way, that Fischer Price toy - WTF?? It's like, get used to being a loser now, in fact, make it your childhood dream. You betcha.