Every now and then, I actually get surprised by something government does. This, of itself, is surprising because governments the world over are the same cumbersome bureaucratic nests of stupidity run by people who haven't set foot in the world since primary school. (If you don't believe that, go and read P.J. O'Rourke's "Parliament of Whores".)
A few months ago, I was looking for a map of Australia to snatch off some unsuspecting website to insert into a business plan. I did all the usual things... you know... go to Google... type in Australia Map... and trawl through a list of 139,681 listings that Google always finds that have nothing to do with whatever it was you were looking for in the first place.
And then I tripped over this...
http://www.toiletmap.gov.au
Yes. It really is an Australian Government Website... "The National Public Toilet Map"... a map of the location and opening hours of every public toilet in the country.
Seriously. It really is... you can tell from the ".gov.au" at the end of the domain name. Apparently, our government thinks this is a very important project.
Take a bit of time there. If you know any suburbs in Australia, type in the name in "Search for a Toilet". If you don't, try "Greenwich" (which is where this bear lives). Apparently, there's a public toilet just near my place, and it's open 24/7. Wow. That's... um... handy to know... I think.
What dumb ass bureaucrat proposed this project?
What even dumber ass approved it?
What do you put on your business card if you work there?
And didn't it occur to them that every pub, Macdonalds, KFC, petrol station, and shopping mall in the country has perfectly serviceable public toilets? Try this... type in "Woolloomooloo" (yes, it's a real place name). You get one public toilet. (Of course, that it's right opposite a hostel for homeless people isn't mentioned anywhere in reference... that wouldn't be politically correct). But readers, there are 5 pubs and two petrol stations in Woolloomooloo that aren't on this National Register, any of which would be safer than the convenience listed (unless you're there late on a Friday night, at which time it wouldn't matter where you went, you're in mortal danger).
I guess I should just feel honoured to be living in a country so wealthy that our government can afford to build and maintain an interactive on-line map of every public convenience in our land.
6 comments:
I like the idea of the toilet map, but there should be a key that tells us a little more about it. Like it's size, the neighborhood it's in, the amount of paper provided. That kind of thing. This sounds like something the American government would pull...
I would also like to know whether there is a going rate for charging for the use of lav paper.
On the Galapagos Islands, the price per square in the public lav is five cents (US) per square. One pays BEFORE one does one's business and hope's one does not over extend.
It's something bureaucrats in governments everywhere look at and say "wow, I wish I'd thought of that".
And woo, at 5c per square, that makes a roll of toilet paper on the Galapagos more valuable than gold, platinum, oil or even cocaine.
Is there a black market? Are there dealers in long overcoats hanging around outside offering you some of their finest Kimberly White?
We had to pay for TP in Ukraine. It was a great way to chat with the sweet ladies behind the TP counter. We taught one or two and they gave us something to drink, ironically. But it's always a shock to greenies in the land.
Chester the Bear, as you can see I'm browsing through your earlier posts. Being American, in America, and being a deputy city attorney (therefore almost one of those government ninnies), I think I will suggest this as a project for our city. LOL. I'm very impressed with the tp black market in the Galapagos. Enterprising.
I believe this is the most functional website is Australia. I'm not ever leaving the house again without a visit to the trip planner.
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