How Dumb Do They Think We Are?

Or maybe that headline should ask "How Dumb Are We"?

I was indulging in my morning read-the-Herald-on-line ritual yesterday and was distracted by a flashing ad for Dell. It said something like "Super Dooper Deal On Dell Custom Built Computers - Hurry, Offer Strictly Limited". Of course, they weren't the exact words. I'm sure Dell's copy writers are more sophisticated than that but you get the gist.

Hurry? Why? You've ALWAYS got a super dooper deal running. Ok, it might not be THIS deal, but it will be another deal and frankly, there's only a limited combination of deals you can offer that involve upggrading memory, hard drive, DVD player or flat screen.

Strictly Limited? Oh please... I think you mean strictly limited to anyone who lives on Planet Earth, don't you?

Custom Built? Oh... ok... so I'm going to place an order, and someone in China is going to read my order and personally assemble my machine for me? For me! Yeah. Right. And I suppose that after that, they'll get in a cab, head for Shanghai Airport, get on a plane with it, and personally deliver it to my door. All for $699 with the bonus 17" flat screen monitor and Blue-Ray upgrade.

I have nothing against Dell. It's just another company making computers. Actually, I think the computer we bought dad for his 80th last year was a Dell, and it's been fine.

I'm starting to grow weary of tired marketing though, and especially of advertising that shouts at you about a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that would really only be true if you were a fruit fly.

TV here used to be filled up with ads for one or other Persian Rug seller "CLOSING DOWN - ALL STOCK MUST GO", and the ad would run for months and in one case, years.

Car dealers are notorious for this stuff... "THIS WEEKEND ONLY. FREE AIR". Yeah. And when I turn up to the dealership next week with cash in my hand, you're going to tell me I can't have the free air because that sale was last week. Look bozo. The air conditioning comes with the car. It's already there. Stop trying to make a big deal out of giving me something for free that comes as standard anyway.

Or what about the ads that say "Sale Ends Tuesday" which should really say "And starts up again in two weeks time". (Actually, it should really say "Sale Ends ON Tuesday", but that's a blog for another time.)

Sadly, the answer to the question, though, must be "Very", because they keep trotting these offers out as though there's someone left who actually believes they're special...
...and we keep falling for them.