I'm going to do something I don't do very often. I'm going to make an admission...
I was wrong.
Not "might have been mistaken", or "possibly in error". No. I was wrong.
Two weeks ago, we opened a little teeth whitening kiosk at a major shopping mall here in Sydney. All of the projections said it would do well. All of the "outside" counsel we sought before we committed said it would do well. And the location I picked within the mall had an average passing traffic of more than 3,000 people an hour.
The sad truth is that it's bombed. I was wrong.
We'd budgeted for 4 treatments a day. On average, we're doing less than 1. Financially, we'll hurt with this one, so when something like this happens, smart businesses take stock and try to figure out what went wrong.
And all we can figure out is that the location within the mall is wrong. Actually, we didn't figure that out... some of the other kiosk owners figured it out for us, because four or five of them have come up to take a look and they've all said "great concept, but what are you doing HERE? This is the LAST place in the mall anyone wants to be. Being outside Big W is the kiss of death in ANY mall."
Last place? Kiss of Death?
I decided I'd try to figure out how could I have got it that wrong? That meant I spent much of yesterday playing passive observer... not at the kiosk, but watching it from afar. It wasn't too hard a task. People watching has always been one of my favourite pass times, and I wanted to take a closer look at those 3000 people to see if observation might offer a clue.
Was it that they were on a mission, and didn't want to be diverted?
Was it that they're all maxed out on their credit cards and were heading into Big W for a bargain to save a little on their household budget?
Or was it that they just couldn't care less about whether their smile was white or chocolate brown?
The truth might be a combination of all three, but after an hour of watching, I came to the conclusion the main reason was the last. I don't care who I offend here... overwhelmingly, the people heading into that store are peasants with no sense of style, appearance, or even manners. Worse still, at least for the future of humanity, is that they seem to be prolific breeders, thus compounding the problem for generations to come by handing down dubious values and a lack of sophistication that threatens who we are as a nation. I'm not exagerating. These people vote!
I carefully observed their teeth, which is not to suggest that the colour of one's teeth can reflect your station in life, but there certainly seemed to be a pattern here, with the average tooth colour more resembling a strong flat black than pearly white. Not that they'd have noticed, because judging by the way most of them were dressed, there's a clear shortage of mirrors in their lives anyway.
Call me a snob. I don't care. It's probably true, because I have little time for the great unwashed, for people who have no understanding of who they are, where they're going, how they're going to get there, or how they need to treat the people around them along the way.
I watched four different people walk up to the shelves on which we have some of our product, and casually slip a tin of tea or bottle of fish oil into their bags. One woman even stashed her ill gotten bounty under baby's pillow. When I challenged her, she looked me square in the eyes and, without so much as a blink or increase in heart rate, she told me she'd bought it at another store. When I told her it wasn't available at any other store, she told me to f*%! off, and then she walked away. Charming. I the USA, they call them trailer trash. Here, I don't think we've got a pejorative. "Housing Commission" would be about as close as we get.
I then spent the next hour doing the same at the other end of the mall, watching the spot management has suggested as an alternative. All I'll say is "different". The people were different. They had a different quality about them. They seemed to be going about their day with more purpose, yet they were far more relaxed. I watched them interact with a kiosk offering chiropractic referral. I watched them being polite. I heard them say "no thank you". There wasn't a scowl among them.
We'll move to that spot this week. Will it make a difference? Maybe, or maybe not, but it couldn't be worse than where we are right now.
4 comments:
good luck mister chester in your new digs, i so hope it works. i so so so hope it works. for the record, there's no way you could offend me with your erudite description of the HC folk. hey. is it worth giving a handful of people near the set-up place a free treatment? they could be test dummies and provide testimonials to other clients ?
I always smile and say no thank you in the kiosk or handout situation - the first time. No need to be rude afterall.
Good luck with the toothy thing Mr Bear.
Your obvy reminded me of something Mr Brown said when we tried one shopping plaza over the one we usually do our foraging at - "it's a whole different demographic here Mouse".
Well, it is kinda true that things like nails, hair, teeth, nice clothes etc become more important as your station in life and/or income increases. When you don't have much money and education, the tendency is to be more focused on survival. White teeth don't do anything to help you survive. Of course, the high number of kids doesn't make life any easier. Ironic. As the song says, only the stupid people are breeding. It's not strictly true, but you understand.
Far as I'm concerned, I don't see what the problem is with being a snob. Sometimes people say that to me like it's supposed to make me feel bad or something. I'm all, so? It's quite liberating. LOL.
I wish you guys the best! Good luck with the new spot.
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