Going To Hell!

Yup. I'm sure, if I believed in that sort of thing, it would be true. I'd be going to hell. Fortunately, I'm Jewish and we don't believe in hell, so I guess I'm safe.

This arrived in by spambox today...

Hello ,
It is a pleasure meeting you at last for I have waited for this golden moment.I am Roger Bird manager in one of the prime bank in united kingdom.Six months ago ,my late customer died in a fatal accident and was buried at the state cemetry.My late customer (Sir mark jones ) has an accountwith a credit balance of twenty million pounds (20,000,000:00),which has beendormant for a very long time.
All efforts to contact the named beneficiary to late Sir jones's estate,with the supplied information proved futile.My good friend ,am contacting you because i want you to claim this money with me. i have the necessary information and documents that would enable us this claim.Please kindly send me your urgent reply to enable me know which other step to take towards the claim of this money.
Regards,
Roger Bird

I hated it. It's poorly written and unconvincing, and I couldn't help myself. I just had to rewrite it so I sent the following back to the scammer...

Oh come on 'Roger'. If you're going to run this scam, you have to do better than this. There are too many typing and/or spelling mistakes in your email for this to be real.
Seriously... I thought you scammers were more professional than that.
The email needs to look something like this...
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Hello,
I have been given your email address by a former colleague of yours who has asked not to be identified. He has told me you may be interested in a "special transaction" that will significantly benefit both of us.
First, allow me to introduce myself and give you a little background. My name is Roger Bird and I am an Account Manager at Prime Bank in the UK.
About eighteen months ago, one of my Personal Banking customers, Sir Mark Jones, passed away. He had considerable wealth, and left no will.
Thus far, the bank has gone to much effort to locate next of kin, but it appears Sir Mark left no living relatives. In cases like this, the Bank holds deposited funds for a fixed period of time, usually two years, before passing those funds on to Her Majesty's Government, where they end up in Consolidated Revenue, doubtless to be wasted on useless ideology inspired social engineering or some Ministerial junket.
With all avenues of inquiry now exhausted, the file has arrived back on my desk to be closed, which is a shame, because Sir Mark managed to accumulate some twenty million pounds in his less than reputable business career.
Without a validated claimant, all that money will disappear into some treasury black hole, never to be seen again. I have the necessary paperwork to validate such a claimant, but as a bank employee, I'm unable to approve a claim of my own. That's where you come in...
What I'm proposing is that you claim the money. I'll validate your claim, and we can split the account 50/50. Interested?
Please reply ASAP, because I'm not going to be able to hold this file in my top drawer for too long before someone notices it's not been processed.
Warmest regards
Roger.
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It's written in English, it makes sense, and it doesn't try to hide the fact that there's a big scam going on here, which means anyone who falls for it deserves what they get!
Feel free to use it... just remember where it came from and let me know if you get anyone stupid enough to bite.

Look for it in your spam box soon.