I Can See! I Can See! Oh... Never Mind.

It's one of the curses of growing old... you just can't see like you used to. For me, it's not the distance stuff that's deteriorating. I've worn coke bottle glasses (can I say that without incurring the wrath of the coca-cola company?) since I was in the 3rd grade and without glasses or contacts, I absolutely can not see the clock next to the bed without physically picking it up and bringing it to within about two inches of my nose.

Actually, without my contacts, I think I'd be legally blind. I'm wondering whether that qualifies me for a diabled parking permit... you know... being blind is classed as a disability.

No, it's not he distance stuff. Like most people in their 40's, it's the close up stuff that starts to disappear. You start grumbling about why there's an inverse relationship between the price of the meal and the size of the type the restaurant writes its menu in. Or you start to wish you'd bought the street directory with "NOW IN EXTRA LARGE PRINT" emblazoned across the front.

So a few years ago, my friendly local optomestrist suggested that I try "dual focus contact lenses". Now before you get all excited, what he really meant was "let's put a contact in your right eye that's great for distance stuff, and one in your left eye that's not quite strong enough, which means the distance stuff will be a little blurry but reading will be easier". "Ok", I said, let's give that a try.Just to put you in the picture, here's what I've been seeing when I look out of my window.

Apparently, the brain figures it out, overlays the blurry image with the sharp image and I end up with "acceptable" vision.

That's all well and good, but I had the opportunity this week to try out a few different combinations. I'm getting older, so my eyes are getting worse, which meant the optometrist wanted to recommend a bigger gap between what I get and what I need. I hated it, so he gave me some different strengths to play with.

The last one I've tried throws away the whole dual focus thing and gives me 20/20 vision.
WOW!!! FECKEN WOW!!! I can see!

Basically, anything more than about a metre away is now in PERFECT focus. The TV, the clock on the clubhouse wall, the lint on my floor, the dead cockroach just outside my front door, the people sunbaking topless across the bay... oh... wait... one of them's a bloke. As long as it's more than a metre away... WOWEEEEE.

Then I sat down at the keyboard to do some real work. Ah well. I've been able to push the monitor to the back of the desk so it's almost a metre away, and who needs to see a bloody menu anyway... just bring food.