None More Deserved

For those who've been living under a rock for the last ten years, or perhaps living in the Excited States, where such things would be less than relevant, the bloke in the pic is soccer super-megastar-demigod Mr David Spice.

First of all, let me state this clearly in the most unambiguous language I can use in a family blog... I think soccer is a boring waste of a good football field. It's played by high diving pansies who think deliberately falling over and staying down until the tissues arrive and the whistle is blown is all part of the strategy of the game. It's corrupt to the core, and is followed in most parts of the world by thick headed thugs for whom rare moments of cognitive function would raise behaviour to levels unprecedented among ovines.

So with that qualification out of the way, let me get to the point.

It's not often I read The Times of London, but with looney Islamists up to their usual trickery, I spent a few minutes on its website this morning. It was there that I found an article by Matthew Syed who I'm guessing is one of The Times' better sports scribblers.

He was writing of the tradition whereby outgoing British Prime Ministers are able to nominate a handful of knighthoods, a favour bestowed on them by the King or Queen since the days of... um... some dead monarch with roman numerals after their name.

These gongs (that's what a Knighthood is called here in Oz) usually go to political mates or over-generous supporters of the Party, in much the same way that the outgoing US President is able to grant pardons (the latter being a far more honest reflection of the true nature of the political process).

Syed suggested that with Tony Blair's retirement, a natural candidate for such a gong would be the ubiquitous David Beckham, formerly of Manchester United and Real Madrid, and lately strapping on boots and jockstrap for the Los Angeles Galaxy.

And not, as you might imagine, for services to sport. After all, Mr Spice is no Sir Johnny Wilkinson, the freak rugby half whose golden boot snatched the World Cup from Australia a few years back, and whose mortal remains shall surely be laid to rest under said boots in Westminster Abbey along with other great contributors to England and Empire like Newton, Chaucer, Kipling, Darwin, Dickens, Olivier and Stevenson.

Sadly, under Beckham's captaincy, you can count the number of international tournaments the English Football Team has won on less than one finger.

No. Syed's reasoning is rather different...
"Beckham has been the single most significant catalyst in the metrosexual revolution, changing the contemporary notion of masculinity, softening it, smoothing it, widening it, diversifying it. He has not only made it possible to be a real man and gay. He has also made it possible to be a real man and sensitive; to be a real man and concerned about one’s appearance; to be a real man and to cry in public; to be a real man and to wear dresses and high heels."

If ever there was a reason for Knighthood, Order of Australia, Congressional Medal of Honour or whatever the gong is in your part of the world, "Contribution to Metrosexuality" is surely compelling.

The full article is HERE.