Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Spamese II

I find it hard to believe that ANYONE with more than three interconnected brain cells would bite on this spam that arrived in my mailbox a few moments ago...

Good day dear clients,
We are sorry to inform that the fraudulents with the accounts of our bank have recently increased. That is why our bank changes the security system, which will provide maximum security to our clients if the accounts are used by frauds. You will receive a special program to your e-mail this week, as well as the instruction how to use it. With its help you will have an opportunity to make payments. Without this program no one will be able to transfer money from your account. If you lose the program, you will have to pay $4,99 and we will send you the copy of it. To confirm the registration of this anti-fraud program visit this web-site and complete the necessary forms:

I'll spend much of the day trying to get my head around "fraudulents with the accounts of our bank", which takes creativity in the English language to a whole new level.

I wonder if the spammers sit around at a post campaign meeting discussing the performance matrix of the campaign?

SPAM BOSS
Today, we sent 437 million emails and got a record 12 responses... good work people! Unfortunately, we're not hitting on the right demographic because the total funds across all 12 bank accounts was just $229.36.

SPAM ASSISTANT
We need to find out why we're not appealing to a higher income demographic.

SPAM BOSS
Good suggestion people. Let's have a workshop, tomorrow, where we can explore ways to target people with more money. So I want you all to come tomorrow prepared...

Not much different to any corporate marketing planning session really.

3 comments:

pitfinder said...

I believe there's a movement to get this declared a seperate language. I think they call it "Manglish".

Vote early, vote often!


:-)

Urban Koda said...

You know, I used to think that only a complete idiot would fall for something this bad, but then my IT manager had me come into his office to help him install a virus which he had gotten in an email, and a co-workers wife called him for the credit card number so she could confirm her EBay account (Which she'd never setup).

Although in hind sight, both of those people could probably fall into the "Complete Idiot" category.

Maybe the strategy here is... Somehow they'll manage to get an email to Paris Hilton, Britany or some other piece of Clueless White Trash, and the couple of million they'll score from them will make the whole thing worthwhile.

e said...

I, like Chester, am completely fascinated by the language. It's off, but in such an interesting way, you have to keep reading. Not fill out the forms, mind you, but at least read.