Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Life Really Is A Lottery

Oh joy!

It seems I've won the "English National Lottery". THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND POUNDS is, apparently, waiting for me to collect.

AND

In the same week, I've also won a MILLION EUROS in something called the Euro-PW Lottery Online.

I am just SO lucky. Actually, with this much luck, I'd better go and actually buy a lottery ticket. I mean, what are the chances of TWO of my email addresses winning lotteries within days of each other. All without me even knowing I'd entered. Astounding.

It must be true though. I got these emails that said so. My email addresses, it seems, had been "selected at random from the internet" and entered in the lotteries and they won!! BOTH of them! Woo bloody hoo!

All I have to do for one of them is contact some "barraster" in London somewhere. Or was that "barista". I can't exactly recall, though I do suspect that the average barista might have more qualifications than this "barraster". And for the other, I just have to send a note to "The Director Of Winning Claims Department", though I'm not allowed to mention the win to anyone because of "unwarranted abuse of this program by some participant". Gee.. I hope they're not talking about me.

Ah well. Gotta go. Have to write me a couple of claims emails and work out where/how to spend/invest all that loot. HooAh!

5 comments:

pitfinder said...

Hey! I won that Euro thing too!

Does that mean we have to split the prize or does the first one to get back to them get the whole thing?

:-)

Chester The Bear said...

Woo. Now what are the chances of that?

Are there people out there DUMB enough to believe this shit?

Chester The Bear said...

and as far as splitting the prize goes, yes, maybe that's how it works, in which case, how about whicever one of us gets the nod, we split it? 50% of nothing is still better than nothing isn't it?

Ms Brown Mouse said...

All I've ever "won" was a "free" holiday to Florida - they rang me about that one and would not get off the phone! Must have cost them a fortune.
Congrats on your winnings though, spend wisely :)

Matsby said...

I never win anything in my junk mail. I just get all kinds of ads for erectile disfunction and "elongators" - which is depressing to me that there is so many companies out there that think I am in need of that kind of help.