True Addiction

Dr J retired early last night, leaving Scooter, Mini, Zac and me huddled on the lounge together watching re-runs of Stargate SG1. Ok. They weren't so much watching as jostling for "prime"position, every now and then shuffling themselves closer to the petting hand, or, in Zac's case, juggling the desire to be on-lap with the need to defend his bone which had found its way onto the floor near my feet.

Picture it. A tall glass of iced tea just out of reach on the coffee table. Friday night. The Sci-fi Channel. Occasional dozing. Soft furry critters draped over various parts of me. Some would call it the perfect evening, made even more perfect by the generous portion of the left over Singapore Noodle dish (see next post) I'd whipped up the night before. "So why", I asked myself, "am I so restless?"

Really restless. That jittery, fidgety restlessness more at home in an amphetamine addict.

And in a flash, I knew. I HAD to have a peanut M&M. NOW. "No", I kept telling myself. "You've had quite enough to eat, and the last thing your bulging tummy needs is an M&M."

For twenty minutes, the argument raged in my head. It was war, and the more I tried to block it out, the harder it got to think of anything else. I was understanding the nature of true addiction. It wasn't that I simply wanted to indulge myself with an M&M. I NEEDED an M&M. There was no alternative to me having an M&M, and I will confess that I found this a little confronting because I'm a strong willed individual with a marginally higher than average IQ who ought to be able to control a stupid craving like that.

But no. I just had to have one.

I pressed "Pause" on the Foxtel Box, reached for my wallet and headed for the door... and with a "pop", the power went out, not just at our place, but across the whole block, which included the all night convenience store just around the corner.

There's nothing like deprivation to focus one's thoughts, and by the time I'd rounded the corner and arrived at the darkened store, I actually didn't want an M&M any more. I just needed to remember where I put those candles.