It's War!

Dancingmorganmouse had this excellent link on her blog. Thank you!

Muscle Up

Anyone who has cable TV will have experienced those oft-too-frequent times when, across [insert number of channels here] channels, there's nothing on that's worth watching... or at least that's how it seems...
...so you go channel surfing in the forlorn hope that you might stumble over something interesting enough to hold your attention.

And that's how I came to be watching "The World's Strongest Man", a competition for the over muscled, where the girth of a single arm was greater than Dr J's waist.

Leaving the concerns of the World Sports Anti Doping Agency aside for now, this competition was a brilliantly conceived test of strength in the real world. Each event was an every day application of power, agility, endurance, toughness and finesse.

Anyone can press... but it takes real skill to heave a cannon ball down a track, against a clock and your oponent who's trying to perform the same feat right next to you. If you were on a man-o-war, having a few of these guys on board might save your life (not to mention your back).

Try flipping over a 300kg (660lb) pole, against a clock and your oponent through a multiple pole course. I'm sure there are construction companies the world over wishing they had these guys on the team.

Anyone here in Oz will appreciate the Keg Toss, and yes, those kegs are full, though current OH&S regulations might curtail the demand for this skill.

Those cars weigh 900kg (1980lb), the clock's ticking and it's a long way to the finish line. How many times have you thought "now, if I could just carry my car home..."

By the way, the guy carrying the car is Bill Pfister, a fireman from somewhere in middle America, and the eventual winner. If I ever need to be rescued from a fire, I want Bill to do it because I weigh considerably less than 900kg.

WSM... Olympic weight lifting on some pretty serious steroids... probably the same 'roids that some of the contestants... oh... no... Chester... don't be so unkind.

Oh... and thanks to IMG Media for the pics. I hope they don't mind. For more, go here.

If Only I'd Been A Doctor...

... because I'm sure my mother would have sent this invitation.

All Class

Watch the blond guy in the second row. If you believe the polls and the book makers, come the evening of November 24, he's going to be the next Prime Minister of Australia.

Mmmmm. Nothing like a tasty snack during Question Time.

Class. All class.

And While We're On The Subject...

...I tripped over this pic.

What a strange and delightful world we live in. I wonder if they've trained her to put the lid down and flush afterwards.

A Most Inalienable Right

The Romans weren't big on privacy.

If I asked you what the three most important rights are in your life, which would you choose?

Would it be the Right To Free Speech?

What about the Right To Vote and elect your government?

Or the Right To A Fair Trial?

If you live in the Excited States, would you choose the Right To Bare Arms, or perhaps even the Right To Pursue Happiness?

Is the Right To Free Worship important to you?

Maybe you'd even choose The Right To Life, or the Right To Food.

Would you have even thought about the Right To A Proper Toilet? It's one of those thing we just take for granted, and the wost we have to endure is the occasional queue at some over crowded outdoor event somewhere.

But for two and a half billion people in the world... roughly half the world's population... such facilities are an unattainable dream. This is the #1 topic, or perhaps that should that be "#2 topic" (oh... sorry) at the World Toilet Summit to be held later this month in New Dehli.

Founded in 2001 as a non-profit organisation, the World Toilet Organisation aims to make sanitation a key global issue and says it has 55 member groups from 42 countries. These people are on a mission, and at the 2002 Toilet Summit in South Africa, they set a clear target to cut the toilet waiting list in half by 2015, and to provide toilets for all by 2025.

Puts our overfed and overprivileged lives in a little perspective, doesn't it?

Before CGI, They Made Real Commercials

That's right... all these stunts are real. All the driving's real. There's no CGI. No animated special effects. No green screen.

Amazing.

Ignoble Prize

I'm not going to comment too much about the Nobel Peace Prize, other than to say that I agree with a commentator I heard on the radio over the weekend who said that the award to Al Gore reduces the Nobel Prize to the level of the Eurovision Song Contest.

For an interesting perspective, see the words of pioneering climatologist Dr William Gray, who told a packed lecture hall at the University of North Carolina over the weekend that humans were not responsible for the warming of the earth.

He went on to say "It bothers me that my fellow scientists are not speaking out against something they know is wrong," he said. "But they also know that they'd never get any grants if they spoke out. I don't care about grants."

So... it's about money and power... and not about "saving the world". Really? What a surprise.

Go HERE.

Concrete Proof That Information Can Be Useless

Sydney's Gladesville Bridge... The longest and largest concrete arch suspension bridge in the world. So there!

Regular readers will know that I care as much about "greenhouse gasses" as I do about the mating habits of jellyfish, but I have to share some truly useless information with you.

Did you know that concrete accounts for 5% of the total amount of "greenhouse gasses" produced by humans? I didn't.

It seems that for every tonne of conrete made, between 1 and 2 tonnes of CO2 are released into the atmosphere. Apparently, some people think that's bad, though regular readers will already be familiar with my views on the subject.

Here's more... every human being on earth uses 3 tonnes of concrete a year. (I plan to use my 3 tonnes to build an Al Gore proof bunker, but that's for another blog).

And next to water, concrete is the single most consumed resource on the planet.

Never say you don't learn stuff here at The Adventures of Chester The Bear.

Phrases For Time Travelers

I was looking for a good English to Latin translator this morning for a project I'll tell you about some other time, when I came across a list of moderately useful Latin expressions.

I thought I'd share some of them with you, secure in the knowledge that many of my readers will wish to blend some of these one liners into their every day language.

Nescio quid dicas
I don't know what you're talking about

Nemo hic adest illius nominis
There is no one here by that name

Ita erat quando hic adveni.
It was that way when I got here

Noli me vocare. Ego te vocabo.
Don't call me. I'll call you.

Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione
I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult

Canis meus id comedit
My dog ate it

Die dulci freure
Have a nice day

Fac ut vivas
Get a life

Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem
Stand aside, little people! I am here on official business

Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabris, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Unless you give me all of your money, I will fling an enormous rock at your head.

Utinam barbari spatioum proprium tuum invadant
May barbarians invade your personal space

Quo signo nata es?
What's your sign?

Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant
May conspirators assasinate you in the hall

Magister mundi sum!
I am the master of the universe!

Unitam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant
May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy

Emptito ergo sum
I shop, therefore I am

Cogito ergo doleo
I think, therefore I am depressed

Senito aliquos togatos contra me conspirare
I think some people in togas are plotting against me

Vah! Denuone latine loquebar? Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur.
Oh! Was I speaking Latin again? Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out.

Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est
Yes, that is a very large amount of corn

Braccae tuae aperiuntur
Your fly is open

Subucula tua apparet
Your slip is showing

Heus, hic nos omnes in agmine sunt!
Hey, we're all in line here!

Non, mihi ignosce, credo me insequentem esse
No, excuse me, I believe I'm next

Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscripti catapultas habebunt
When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults

Sic hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades
If you can read this bumper sticker, you are both very well educated, and much too close

Quid agis, medice?
What's up, Doc?

Dic mihi solum facta, domina
Just the facts, ma'am

Re vera, cara mea, mea nil refert
Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn

Fac ut gaudeam
Make my day

Illius me paenitet, dux
Sorry about that, chief

Diabolus fecit, ut id facerem!
The devil made me do it!

Me transmitte sursum, caledoni
Beam me up, Scotty

Just remember... if it's in Latin, it must be important.

Dancing To A Different Drum

WARNING... EXPLICIT CONTENT THAT MAY OFFEND SOME READERS!

Sorry... but if you're faint hearted, narrow minded or easily offended, this entry is definitely not for you.

But if you're normal, well adjusted, and can stomach seeing momentary vision of male private bits dangling from muscular footballers, then click here.

The interview takes place in the locker room of the team that lost the Rugby League Grand Final (that's our equivalent to the Superbowl or FA Cup final) here in Oz a week or two back. Fox Sports was doing its usual post game stuff, but the crew was oblivious to the antics of a team member in the background who (claims he) was unaware that the cameras were rolling.

Fox aired the footage before anyone noticed.

I remember a leading commentator of the day, many many years ago when the whole locker room invasion by journalists started, warning that if cameras were allowed into locker rooms, they might film stuff no-one wanted to see.

The reaction has been predictable. The network says it's the responsibility of players to be camera aware.

The players are trying to get the cameras banned for 45 minutes after the game.

And the League is in damage control for an oops that makes the famous "wardrobe malfunction" look a little tame.

By the way, the well endowed player, winger Michael Robertson, called it "Wang Dancing" and said he was just trying to cheer his team mates up after their loss, which leads me to ask why he thought that would cheer them up at all.

Indulgence

Wednesday is Day Care day for little Zac. Yes. Day care. For dogs. It's all the rage here in the Emerald City, and this smart guy gets so excited from the moment we turn into day care street that it's surprising he doesn't wet the seat of the car.

The centre where we send him has a webcam so that obsessive owners like me can waste an otherwise productive day ooo-ing and aahh-ing everytime he wanders by the camera.

Today there was a bit of a treat... for the first time, Zac actually stopped in front of the lens. Apparently, it's downtime... the time of day when all the dogs take time out from play.

Aawwww.

(I'd give you the webcam address, but for reasons only known to the centre owners, access tot he cam is password protected and they change the password every day.)

Right Brain? Left Brain? No Brain!

Thanks to Sydney's Daily Telegraph this morning... go HERE

The problem is, for me, the girl turned anti clockwise, then clockwise, alternating every revolution or two. And now my brain hurts.

7th Century Enlightenment

I have nothing to add.

The Stuff Of Life

Moving house has been a bit of a wake up call.

First, let me say that this isn't the first time I've moved in a while. In fact, I'm almost ashamed to admit that in the last 10 years, I've moved house 10 times!

It came as a surprise, therefore, that I had so much useless stuff. You know the "stuff" I mean. Robert Kiyosaki, in his book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" calls them "doodads". They are the useless things we seem to spend money on just because we feel we need to, as though some retail therapy is going to make our lives better.

I had boxloads of "stuff", some of which was so useless it was still in the boxes it had been in when I moved into my apartment. In fact, some were still in the boxes they had been in when I moved back to Sydney from Perth in 2003, which ought to tell you what sort of contribution this stuff was making to my life.

All of it had to be moved, and moving ain't cheap.

There's one box filled to overflowing with those little packets of film negatives you used to get from the photo shop before electrons replaced silver as society's primary visual memory storage medium. These aren't "important" negatives of life changing events. Most of them were work related, and were pictures of mind numbingly dull ferry, cruise ship or container terminals. I kept them because... um... I'm sure there was a reason... I'll get back to you...

In another box, there are ten 1000 piece jigsaw puzzles, all of which had, at some stage, been properly assembled and then packed neatly back in their boxes, and each of which had cost less than $10 at the local supermarket. These were kept because... um... no... I don't think I ever envisaged doing them again so... um... I'll get back to you...

I have enough glassware to pull on a Presidential or Prime Ministerial post inauguration bash (that's aussie for 'party'... the fun kind, not the political kind), much of which had been whittled down to one or two odd pieces out of sets of 6 or 8. Some are chipped. Some even have vague shadows where the printed image used to be before the dishwasher did its work. I kept these because... um...

I have one not terribly attractive glass platter about 18" across, still in it's original box. It had been a wedding present from my first marriage, more than 25 years ago. I kept it because... um...

There's another box full of enough of those little toiletry kits you get in business class to start my own ariline.

There are boxes of electrical things... headphones, walkpersons, an outdated cable modem, two dial-up modems (one of which, I'm reasonably sure, is broken), two old dot matrix printers, one old bubble jet printer and two antiquated computers, one of which had been hard wired with an obsolete version of an obscure rendition of Linix. All of these were kept under the misguided rationale that perhaps outmoded technology might come in handy for some as yet unknown task at some point in the future. Next to that was a box of floppy disks... not the cool hard shell 3.5" kind, but the utterly useless 512kb 5.25" soft ones, containing obsolete programs, data or games. And I bothered moving them?

Oh look. There's my old kettle.

There was a box containing the microscope I had been given for my 11th birthday. Actually, I rather liked this box, useless though its contents might have been. It also contained my old N guage train set (sans transformer, so I don't even know if it still works), a game called Qubic, which I was given for my 9th birthday and which, while looking a little worse for wear, still has all its bits. My giant lego set is there too. I suppose these are connections to childhood, so maybe they're important in my life though for what, I'm yet to figure out.

There were old sheets... really yuck ones that were probably kept because I thouight they might make great dropsheets (the ones you put down when you paint the house). Unfortunately, I'm not well known for painting houses.

The point is this... all this crap... and largely, that's what it is... cost me a bloody fortune to shift, and has taken days to sort through here in my new place. Some of it might have been useful once. Get over it... in most cases, it will be cheaper to replace than move and store.

Some of it had been kept because I felt it formed a part of the history of my life... arrogantly (and somewhat delusionally) thinking that anyone would care.

And then it occurred to me. We spend our meaningless lives accumulating worthless posessions that tie us down. We part with our hard earned money acquiring the latest fashion dictates, and when the fashion passes, the storehouse swells to make room for the next "must have" thing. And in between time, we spend precious days packing and moving such stuff, and yet more precious days unpacking and storing away at the other end. For much of it, that's the only time it will be touched by the light of day until we do the moving thing again.

Really. This is life for 21st century civilisation... I Have Therefore I Am.

Are we mad?

Gotta go. I need to get up to the Sony shop... they're having a sale on wireless noise cancelling headsets...