I looked down at my keyboard the morning, and am overtaken by this urge to put it in the dishwasher.
You see, I work from home, or maybe that should actually be 'I sleep at work' because the time that I spend at home seems to be spent bowing down at the altar of my 19" flat panel and stroking the Holy Keyboard in vain supplication to the gods of Word, Excel, php and Outlook. My faith is strong, and one day, I know, these gods will reward my devotion by filling my bank account with the fruits of my labour. You seek evidence of such a reward? There is no evidence. Only faith.
So I'm eating a bowl of Just Right this morning while I type the Holy Formula to the god of Excel, when I accidentally drop the spoon. It was Excel's way of punishing me for using just one hand for my devotion.
Splash. There's bits of milk and cerial splattered inconveniently around the Holy Tab Key. Yuk.
But what's even more yuk is that this caused me to take a good hard look the other detritus... crumbs from a Vita Wheat, fragments of peanut from a Picnic, a tiny splash of sauce from last week's Carbonara, a sticky bit that may or may not have been either Iced Tea or Coke. It's enough food to keep a colony of ants very comfortable through the long hard winter ahead. Fortunately, there's a great abundance on the surrounding floor... truly a Land of Milk and Honey where Bounty rains from the sky... so the ants need not be bothered with the climb up Desk Mountain as they can grow fat off the surrounding timber plain.
I'm not really a disgusting pig, but this morning, the scene around my keyboard seems to tell a different story.
7 comments:
Have you tried those compressed air thingies? They are SO awesome! You can point them at the keyboard and blow all the detritus right out of there. Of course, you may need Windex for the sticky stuff, but the air thingy is loads of fun and oddly fulfilling. The Holy Keyboard will be quite happy, and you know what happens when Holy Keyboards are happy.
Oooo!
Compressed air thingy. I'll pick one up from my local computer & electronics store when I surface for lunch later today.
Sounds fab, and much more fun than the common garden variety vacuum cleaner, which I just tried and which was pretty much useless. (Though running it up and down the Holy Keyboard did produce a rather interesting treatise on symbiosis and the interconnectedness of all things.)
Go the compressed air thingy - tis sooo much fun, you can use it for all sorts of unauthorised things too, wheeeeee.
Okay, if you didn't already know this or haven't already tried it, you have to turn the can upside down and pull the trigger. If it's filled with the same stuff as ours, you should get a fairly cool plume of super-cooled propellant. Wait until your keyboard is clean though, it can be a little *too* much fun.
:-)
Hey Chester, you could always take the keyboard and walk thru a carwash with it and then you would both come out the other side all clean and blow dried..?
UPDATE: The keyboard's sparkling clean now, but I have no idea what I've done to it. Now, typing sounds like a rattly old freight train.
I see a new keyboard coming in my very near future.
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